Funny Jokes SMS


"Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright."

"Before Marriage:- He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait she:do you want me 2 leave? He: No! don't even think about it. She: do you love me ? He:ofcourse! over n over! She:have u ever cheated on me? He:No!y r u even asking? She:will u go on wid me on picnic? He:every chance I get! She:will u hit me ? He:R u crazy?I'm not that kind of person! She:can I trust u? He:yes.. She: Darling! After marriage... Now simply read from bottom to top "

"Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Sardar: An old king's skeleton. Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it? Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child. "

"Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn’t come back yet. Inspector : -What is her height? Husband : -Average, I guess. Inspector : -Slim or healthy?. Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy. Inspector : -Color of eyes? Husband : -Never noticed. Inspector : -Color of hair? Husband : -Changes according to season. Inspector : -What was she wearing? Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit. Inspector : -Was she driving? Husband : -Yes. Inspector : -Color of the car? Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door… and then the husband started crying… Inspector: -Don’t worry sir,…We will find your car."

" Diff B/W Commerce & Science Questions: Commerce : What Is Ur Name? (10 Mrks) Science: What Is Ur Name & Its Origin? Give Relations &Applied Aspects Along With It'S Logical Significance. Also Explain With The Help Of Graph. It'S Upper & Lower Limits.(1+1+1=3 Marks) Banda Fail Nae Hoga To Kya Top Krega? =P =D "

" An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone: ""Where d Hell Are You ... ?"" Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewelery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said ""Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "" O:) Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love ! Husband: I m In The Pub Just Next To That Shop "

" Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife :- Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems, no tv serial, dont demand new clothes & gold jewels, Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok. On the way home.. Husband :- wat did the doc say ? Wife :- .No chance for u to survive "

"Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: ""Hello Darling"" The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: ""Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen.. =P"

"Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium? Sardar: BA Professor:For sodium? Sardar: NA Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combined? Sardar: BANANA "

" Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto. sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler "

"Height of coolness: 2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands.... 1st guy:which paper was it? 2nd guy:I think maths...... 1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper? 2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator:>"

"A Sweet demand by a kid. A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked- what happen son? Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own. "

" Santa-What Is Difference Between COFFEE Shop & WINE Shop? Banta-COFFEE Shop Is The Starting Point Of LOVE & WINE Shop Is Last Point Of LOVE "

" In bio practical: Examiner:Tell me the name of this bird by seeing it's legs only? Sardar:I don't know. Examiner:You failed, what's your name? Sardar:See my legs & tell my name"

" In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please! Saint: I don't have. TT: Where do you want to go? Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya! TT: Come, lets go! Saint: Where? TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail. "

" In a school function.... A K.G boy started closing his ears with both hands, when girl was about to start her speech Others asked him Why r you closing your ears? He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend n She is gonna start her speech with . . . . . . My Dear Brothers n Sisters :-) "

" TEACHER: Kashif, give me a sentence starting with ""I"". Kashif: I is ...... TEACHER: No, Kashif. Always say, ""I am."" Kashif: All right... ""I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."" "

"" Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor? Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died. "

"Rich Man: Today, I have 14 Cars, 18 Bikes, 4 Bungalows, 3 Farm Houses What do you have? Poor Man: I have a boy. whos Girl Friend is.. . . . . Your Daughter..! "

" Difference b/w shit & Oohh shit: . A boy Threw a love letter to a girl . but it fell on her brother.. Shittt! . And Her brother was GAY.. Oohh ShIt :-P "

" A boy with a sweet girl entered a jewellery shop. Choose a ring worth 8 lacs for her. Gave a cheque & said she will collect ring on Monday after the cheque is cleared. . On Monday. Jeweller called boy: There's no money in your account. Boy: I know, But, you can't imagine what a weekend I enjoyed:-) "

" A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear So da Teacher Drew The Diagram On Da Blackboard. said: ""Dont Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure"":D"

" Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun Everyone must attend it. Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !! "

"A man received message from his neighbour. Sorry sir I am using your wife. I am using day and night. I am using when u r not present at home. In fact I am using more than U R using. I confess this because now I feel very much guilt. Hope U will accept my sincere apologies. Man went home and had a big fight with his wife. Few minutes later he received another massage. Sorry Sir spelling / auto correct mistake ... it's not wife but WIFI. "

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

" Once, Boss, Officer & Clerk going 4 a meeting. They saw a Jin. Jin said: As i fulfill 3 wishes at a time. But u r 3 persons so i will fulfill 1 wish for each. Clerk said: Send me to America with a lot of money clerk disappears. (wish fulfilled) Officer said: Send me to Paris with a lot of beautiful girls. officer disappears. (wish fulfilled) Jin said to Boss: what is ur wish? He said: ""I want these two idiots back at office after lunch."" "

" Sardar: I havnt slept all nite in the train. Friend: Y? Sardar: Got upper berth. Friend: Y didnt u exchanged? Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 exchange in the lower birth.."

" Two Ladies Fighting For A Seat In A Bus . Bus Conductor: The Older One Should Sit Here Both Looked At Each Other And The Seat Remained Empty :P "

" Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !! You are holding the phone since 20 mins. haven't spoken a word..!!! Man inside: I'm talking to my wife"

" Boy 2 God: Give me a pocket full of money, A job & a big vehicle full of girls. God replied:your wish is fullfilled. He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:"